


Let Go

by tilia_cordata



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Leaving Home, Melancholy, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 08:47:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tilia_cordata/pseuds/tilia_cordata
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first night of the last weekend together before Santana leaves for college. Written during the pre-S4 hiatus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Go

The August air is hot and hazy, and Santana Lopez cannot sleep.Brittany is curled beside her, sound asleep, fingertips resting lightly against Santana’s chest. Her blonde hair is fanned out across the pillow, and there’s a sort of a half smile on her face. The words  _innocent_  and  _angelic_  float across Santana’s mind for a moment. She smirks.  _Sleep of the innocent my ass._

 

Brittany’s sleeping the sweet and sticky sleep of one fucked completely and delightfully. Santana can still feel it between her fingers, taste it on her lips. But she’s wide awake. 

This was meant to be their perfect last weekend together, before Santana left for college. Brittany’s parents were out of town with her little sister, and Santana’s would be spending plenty of time with her during campus move-in. They got the big, quiet house to themselves, a bottle of cheap champagne (a gift from Puckerman) sitting in the fridge if they felt like getting giggly and buzzed. Maybe they’ll open it tomorrow. 

Tonight, though, the plan was to just enjoy each other, unrestrained and uninhibited. Santana had just wanted to jump into bed; Brittany turned it into an honest-to-goodness date night - ice-cream in the backyard at sunset. And it was good to have the time together, quiet and sweet, before they ran up the stairs to Brittany’s bedroom. Lord Tubbington was banished, shoes kicked off by the door, and they tumbled into bed. 

At first they just kissed, bodies pressed up against each other, hands entangled in hair, sliding under tank tops and just below the waistbands of shorts. Kisses grew fevered: lips bit and tongues searching and bodies rocking together. 

Santana lifted Brittany’s shirt up over her head as Brittany tugged on the button of Santana’s tight shorts. A few moments more of tugging and unclasping and shimmying out of layers, and they lay together, skin against skin. Brittany’s hand slid up the inside of Santana’s thigh until her fingertips reached the small tuft of dark hair. But before her hand could wander down, Santana caught it with hers, gently moved it away, and rolled over so that Brittany was below her, pressed against the blankets. 

"Tonight is for you," she said, one hand cupped around one of Brittany’s breasts and the other sliding down her side, around her hips. She gently pinched the nipple of the breast she was holding, perfect and round and pink, until Brittany squealed and smiled. Santana smiled back and with her other hand found the spot of wetness and ran her fingertips over it. Brittany shivered and pushed her hips up to meet Santana’s hand, and she slid her fingers up and down over Brittany’s firm, pink clit. Santana began a trail of kisses along Brittany’s body, starting at her lips, down her neck, along her collerbone, until she’d reached her right breast. She took the nipple between her lips, sucking gently. She paused for a moment, smiled, then bit down until Brittany’s soft moaning turned into a high squeak. 

"Ok?" she asked, checking in though this was familiar territory. Brittany smiled and nodded, and Santana’s mouth went back to one breast, right hand on the other, and her other hand pressing circles around and around all the folds surrounding her clit. Brittany’s hips rocked up and down and between moans she gasped, "More!" 

That was the sign for Santana to take her right hand away from Brittany’s breast, letting her fingernails drag along her smooth stomach until Brittany shivered, until she reached the wetness between her legs. One finger slipped inside, as far as it would go and then out, and then in again to find all the sensitive spots that made blood rush and chills run down Brittany’s legs. “More?” Santana asked, and Brittany nodded. Santana slipped a second finger inside, and positioned her thumb on the very tip of Brittany’s clit, so her left hand was free to slide up Brittany’s body back to her breasts. She squeezed and stroked and slipped in and out until Brittany was gasping and moaning and rocking along with her, her thigh pressing up between Santana’s legs. 

The pace grew more frenzied, Santana finding all of Brittany’s most sensitive places and Brittany’s body coursing and lithe and electric. The rush of feeling grew and grew and grew until it exploded, Brittany’s hips thrown up, her back arched. She kicked one foot up in the air and curled her toes in the way that always made Santana smile. Everything tightened as much as it could, and then everything released. Brittany feel back into the blankets, gasping and giggling. “Everything sparkles,” she whispered. 

She rolled so that she was beside Santana instead of underneath, and began to slide her hand up her thigh towards the dark hair. For the second time that night, Santana moved Brittany’s hand away. Brittany frowned. “Did I do something wrong?” she asked.

"No, baby, of course not. I’m just-" She broke off, not sure what she meant to say. Not feeling it tonight, not in the mood, not feeling like being touched like that? "I’m just going to go to the bathroom, I’ll be back in a minute." Brittnay nodded and yawned, curling up on top of pillows and fluffy blankets to wait. 

By the time Santana had come back to bed from the bathroom, Brittany had fallen asleep. And now, Santana is lying in bed, unable to fall asleep herself, unable to articulate why she couldn’t let go of herself tonight. Ok, maybe she can think a few reasons why maybe, on her last weekend at home, her last weekend with her girlfriend, her first love, she’s a little resistant to that kind of vulnerability. 

Because she needs to be strong and in control of herself in these last few days at home. There have already been so many things not under her control - even this college she’s going to, to Kentucky to be a cheerleader and to get a business degree. To Kentucky instead of New York, because as much as she wants to take her mother’s gift and run as far away from Lima, Ohio as possible she can’t because her heart will be left behind. And there was another thing she couldn’t control, leaving Brittany behind when Brittany was supposed to graduate and they were supposed to run away together. And fuck, there was that last bit of herself she couldn’t control, falling in love with a girl full of magic stuck in this crappy town.

And sex with Brittany is all vulnerability and openness. It releases all the tension in her and leaves her stripped bare in a way that no other sex has. She feels safe with Brittany, always, but this weekend she thinks needs all the tension in her to just keep moving foreward. So no, she didn’t want to give herself over to the whims of her body, and she cannot sleep now, because she cannot stop thinking about leaving, and leaving behind. 

Her thoughts spin for a few more minutes before she realizes that Brittany is awake, her hands having moved from resting lightly on Santana’s ribs to curled around her breast. Brittany smiles, still drowsy but full of light. She can tell Santana is sad, but she can’t find the words to make anything better, so she pulls her in tighter and kisses her all over her face - on her cheeks, on her chin, on her eyelashes, on the tip of her nose. This makes Santana smile, and so Brittany lies back down, head resting on Santana’s shoulder. 

It doesn’t fix things, but Santana cannot help but be comforted by the sweetness in the girl sleeping beside her. Eventually, slowly, she drifts off to sleep. Her fears and doubts aren’t resolved, but time will push her forward and sweep her away. So now she can sleep, and maybe in the morning she will have the strength to let go. 


End file.
